The Ugly World of Childhood Pageantry

Several months ago, my daughter received a letter from the NAM program, commonly known as National American Miss.

In the beginning, we thought this was a good opportunity for her.  The idea of public speaking, poise, and the fact that this pageant did not do swimsuit competitions totally won points for me.  She went in, did an interview, and then paid something of the neighborhood of $50 for a photoshoot.  Okay.  Whatever.  

So we get a letter in the mail, saying that she'd been chosen for a state finalist.  That's cool.  However....there was a workshop she was required to attend which was $260 or something like that.  But she really, really, really, wanted to attend, so her father took her (because at the time, I was working weekends).  

We receive a LOT of information.  The fact the children need to find sponsors to defer the cost, all the incidental expenses that add up, and other requirements.

She does another workshop, same tune of money, and now...now I start sweating it.

But a friend loans us a dress, we shell out money, and make it through the pageant.  My daughter doesn't place, but she learned a lot of things.  In fact, she learned so much, she doesn't ever want to do a pageant again.

I don't blame her.

I think, all together, just in fees, we shelled out about $1000.  I'm grateful we didn't have to buy a dress, a wonderful friend of mine loaned us one, but those dresses can start at $30 and just go up.  Ridiculously up.  And my daughter found out later on, the concept of 'nickel and diming' someone to death.  Every extra competition was anywhere between $50-$150, with the possibility of winning a trophy.  The contests were everything from academic (you had to get people to write you letters of recommendations and have copies of your report cards) to photogenic (you could pay a professional to make you some pretty pictures) to spokesmodel (where you paid to read cue cards and things).  Merchandising - you get that kind of idea; they had shirts, sweatshirts, make-up boxes, teddy bears, and all sorts of sparkly jewelry which makes little girls squee in delight.

And a few days before, we scoured malls and stores to find shoes to match her two dresses (one formal, borrowed, and the other business-like, $60 which was used for an 'interview' process they did).  We found one pair at a place called the Buffalo Exchange, which is an excellent used clothing store to get trendy stuff at (they were chunky black heels, six-inches plus a platform base, the heel was squared off and we got them for $16.50....my daughter had huge feet, so this place would be a treasure trove for drag queens), a pair of heels for the shiny, steampunk-esque formal dress ($30), and a secondary pair of black heels she was more comfortable interviewing in ($20).  Let's not count all the food, the parking fees the hotel that hosted it charged (which was $16.00 a day, which they graciously reduced to $2.00....the Royal Sonesta was nice looking, but I was rather pissed they wanted to charge $5.00 for a personal pizza that was stone cold and $3.00 for a can of soda on their cash-only buffets set up for the event...), or even the other weird incidentals.

And even after all that expenditure, they wanted you to pay for different video/picture packages, starting at (surprise, surprise) $50 and going up significantly.  Sorry, I have a hard time paying $110 for all the video of my daughter, particularly when the MC mispronounces her name.  Even the final show had 'tickets' which should have been sold, at $15 a piece.  We had to buy three just to watch the show, and although she sold 2 more to her friend, since it was on a Monday Night, pretty much no one could attend but us.  It sucked, but the fact her little family was there to support her, I think, was enough.

I do have to interject here, I think that she made quite an impression.  She got up and, in her introduction, let everyone know she wanted to 'serve her country' and 'join the United States Marine Corps'.  She had a few total strangers come over and actually congratulate her and tell her they were proud of her.

SO...even with a lot of grumbling to myself and trying to gently express the fact that this was a business, regardless of the fact they're trying to sell it to little girls, I was rather put out.  I tried not to be too much Debbie Downer to my daughter, but I think that after seeing all the prices, she kind of got the point.  Every extra she wanted started at $50 and by the time we'd gotten to her actually having to go through the motions of doing the pageant requirements, I think she was now finishing as gracefully as she could, but really not into it anymore.  By the time we had the conversation about the event, after it was over, she said about the second workshop, she decided she didn't want to have to do it anymore.  But she didn't want to quit, because she'd known we had spent a whole lot of money on it.

I wanted to bang my head on the steering wheel in frustration.

The reason being is that two days before school let out, we got a letter for Officer Training Camp for her JROTC and the costs required for it.  It was everything I could do to keep from biting her head off at that point.  Very quietly, through gritted teeth, I told her that all the money we wasted on the pageant could have been used to pay for the JROTC camp.

But...you know.  Kid logic.

I wasn't hard on her about it, I don't think.  But my kids are more aware of the realities of living in the 'burbs.  We don't really care about 'keeping up with the Joneses', never really have.  But we do try to make sure our kids get to do everything they want to do, whatever they want to do.  Most of our money goes to our kids.

Which, although this post was about one of my minions getting to have her eyes open for the pageantry world, I've been kicking around the idea of trying to get my CDL.  At the very least, the kids would have more money to do the things they want, and I would get to see the states, which I've never done.

So wish us luck.  The summer is now upon us, and in the stifling, humid heat of Houston, we'll have to find other things to do.